Test Flight
by Santana2
Summary: Tony really should have deleted those videos before the master spy moved into his house. T for safety.


**A/N:** I wrote this right after I saw the Avengers movie but, wasn't sure if I should post it for a while . . . but dang it, I like it, so that's what I'm gonna do.

I know at the end of the movie the Avengers sort of went their separate ways, but for the sake of comedy (hopefully) and grossly convenient plot-lines let's just say they all end up back at Stark tower now and then . . .

Could be border-line crack, I'll let you decide. Here, it's all yours now, go!

**Disclaimer:** lol

* * *

He should have erased it, really.

But being an egotistical, self-absorbed genius had to have documentation, so therefore, he did not.

Natasha Romanoff decided to take advantage.

Later, she would say it was payback for the latest personal crime Tony Stark had committed against her (he and Clint had recently been looking up pranks on YouTube, and she was their guinea pig), but, honestly, that was nothing new. She could always get back at him during sparring practice.

But this time . . . well, she'd been itching to use it and Tony was basically _handing_ her a golden opportunity.

It was just too good to resist.

She'd actually run across it ages ago while doing a thorough background check when she first came to work for Stark and had immediately made a copy for blackmail purposes. She learned a long time ago it was good to have at least a little blackmail.

On everyone.

Especially Tony Stark.

Granted she had to wait for the opportune moment, but she was nothing if not patient.

That moment came when Tony, in true genius form, characteristically locked himself in his lab – declaring no one was to bother him unless the earth was about be sucked into a black-hole or be taken over by monkeys – to work on some new super-sonic-thingy-whatever that none of them (except Banner) could possibly understand. What made it even sweeter was that Clint, Steve, Bruce, and Thor were currently staying at Stark tower.

Natasha, in true professional spy form, uncharacteristically called a movie night in response. Clint was instantly suspicious.

In the end the archer just shrugged and threw some popcorn in the microwave. Bruce then spent the next ten minutes trying to explain how exactly that worked to Steve and Thor. At least it gave the red-head a long moment to figure out Stark's overly complicated entertainment center.

Stupid flashy billionaires.

* * *

"Oh, now I'm really scared," was the first thing Clint uttered when the title popped up on screen:

**Presenting**

**Test Flight**

**(Discovered) by Natasha Romanoff**

**A Stark Industries Production**

Alright, so she'd had a little fun with graphics before she presented it . . . Stark would have been disappointed otherwise.

"Um, Tasha," Steve began, already sensing mischief, "what exactly – "

"Shush," she cut him off before he could ruin her mood, "you'll miss the beginning." The assassin may have sounded a bit too excited because Steve cringed a little and Bruce grabbed a pillow and held it to his chest.

Good grief, it's not like Natasha would show them home videos of her old interrogations or something . . . on second thought . . .

The opening title rolled off screen and a video appeared with the sound of Tony's low voice, "Start off nice and easy at ten percent thrust capacity . . . and 3 – 2 – 1 – " the sound of rockets and Stark's body colliding with the back wall elicited a few resounding _Ohh_'s from the assembled men.

As the little automated robot doused the man with a fire extinguisher Natasha turned to Steve, "Should I turn it off?"

"Don't you dare," the super soldier shoved a hand-full of popcorn into his mouth, eyes glued to the screen.

It faded into the next clip.

* * *

The next clip must have come from a security camera in Tony's lab, judging by the angle and quality. Tony was in the middle of strapping something that looked more than a little dangerous to his arm when Pepper walked in carrying a package, some coffee, and telling him something about who was upstairs.

She glared suspiciously at the thing on Tony's arm, "I thought you said you were done making weapons?"

When the on screen genius lifted his arm Bruce suddenly leaned forward in recognition and interest, "Flight stabilizer," Natasha heard him mumble under his breath. His minute study of the exposed wiring was short lived, however.

"It isn't, it's a flight stabilizer," Tony confirmed on screen, "Completely harmless." He assured Pepper as the thing whirred . . . and then blasted him back into the wall.

Thor's booming laugh shook the house. Bruce was snickering behind his pillow, muttering something about engineers' speculations.

A weak, "I didn't expect that," came from the billionaire as Pepper uncovered her head and looked around in shock. Steve only shook his head at poor Miss Potts all too familiar bewildered expression.

* * *

Pepper also featured in the next clip, again seemingly shot by a security camera.

"Those with a weak constitution had better turn away," Natasha said cryptically.

"Alright, lemme see 'em," Tony was saying to his assistant as she walked uncertainly up to the table he rested on. She held up her hands to show her (currently shirtless) boss, "Oh, good very petite, perfect . . . I just, ah, need your help for a sec – "

"Oh my g-, is that the thing that's keeping you alive?" It was apparently the first time she'd seen the arc reactor in Tony's chest.

"Wait," Clint said suddenly, "this isn't about to get – "

"Shut_ up_, Clint," Tasha punched him in the arm, "_No one_ wants to see that, pervert."

"I was just making sure," he said defensively, smirking at her.

"See what?" Steve asked glancing at them. Natasha had to pause the video, Clint was laughing so hard.

When she finally started it back Tony was mumbling something about an "antique" and was holding up a newer looking arc reactor, "_This_ is what will be keeping me alive in the foreseeable future, I'm swapping it out for an upgrade. But I've hit a little . . . speed-bump."

"Speed-bump, w-what does that mean?"

"It's nothing, it's just a little snag, there's an exposed wire under this devise and it's contacting the socket wall and it's causing a little bit of a short – " he popped the old glowing reactor out, making Pepper (and various members of the small audience) to wince.

"W-well, what do you want me to do?" Pepper asked as he handed it off to her.

"I just want you to reach in and your just gonna gently lift the wire out – "

"Is this safe?"

"Yeah, it's just like Operation, just don't let it touch the walls –"

"What is that, what's Operation – "

"It's just a game never mind, just gently lift the _wire_. Okay? Great."

"I-I don't think I'm qualified to do this – "

"No, you're fine. You are the most capable, qualified, trustworthy person I've ever met. You're gonna do great." (If Natasha saw every, single one of those macho men next to her smile at that, she didn't say anything) "Is it too much of a problem? Cause I really need your help here – "

"Okay, okay," She took a deep breath and reached into her boss' chest . . . when her face immediately scrunched in disgust, "Oh, gross there's _puss_ – "

"It's not puss it's an inorganic plasmic discharge, it's from the device not from my body – okay, the copper wire. You got it?"

"Yeah, I got it"

"Okay, just don't let it touch – AHH!" A buzz, very much like the sound from Operation, filled the room, "Yeah that's what I was trying – "

"Sorry, _sorry_."

" 'S fine just don't pull out the – _the magnet_ – that was it. You just pulled out – "

"Oh! W-what do I – "

"Don't worry – No! Don't put it back in – "

"Why's it beeping like that?"

"It's nothing, I'm just going into cardiac arrest because you _yanked out_ –"

"I thought you said this was safe!"

"Alright, hurry. We gotta switch it out, here take this put it in – "

"Okay . . . Tony, it's gonna be okay, I-I'm gonna make this okay – "

"Just put it in!" Bruce suddenly shouted at the T.V., like it was a football game, causing Thor to jump beside him and the rest to stare at him, " . . . Sorry." He leaned back in his seat and they went back to watching.

Tony gave a strangled shout as Pepper finally attached the new device, "Now see was that so hard?"

"Are you okay?" The poor girl asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, feel great . . . You okay?" He started laughing as Pepper sighed in part relief and exasperation.

"Don't ever, ever, _ever_ ask me to do anything like that ever again."

"That woman deserves knighthood, I say," Thor murmured from his side of the couch.

Affirmatives came from everyone present.

* * *

Tony's voice introduced the next clip with, "Day 11 Test 37 Configuration 2.0 – for lack of a better option Dummy is still on fire safety," he turned to said robot, "If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college." Dummy made sad little robot noises.

"He should really be nicer to those robots," Clint said solemnly. When Natasha turned to look at him he continued, "What other geniuses do you know whose inventions could possibly take over the world?" She just punched him again and went back to the clip show.

". . . Alright nice and easy," On-screen Tony continued, "We're just gonna start off with one percent thrust capacity . . . and 3 – 2 – 1," The boys on the couch watched in anticipation as he hovered on the spot for a moment and landed easily. When he landed he glanced at Dummy, "Please don't follow me around with it either, I feel like I'm gonna catch on fire, spontaneously, just stand down if something happens then come in."

"_If _something happens?" Steve snickers.

"Let's bring it up to two point five . . . in 3 – 2 – 1," And he was up again, but this time he didn't just hover. Clint and Steve both cringed as he accidentally moved over the cars behind him, the thrusters just missing the paint job. After a lot of frightened exclamations and flailing from the billionaire, Tony finally landed in the place he'd started . . . much to the shock of the team as they watched Tony adamantly wave off Dummy.

"Yeah, I can fly."

The statement would have carried much more weight had the next clip not consisted of a fully built silver suit crashing through the roof and landing squarely on one of the cars. Thor chuckled as Dummy doused Stark again.

* * *

"Sir, the more you struggle the more this is going to hurt," Jarvis' smooth voice floated from the screen as they watched another security feed of Pepper walking down the stairs to the lab, glass crunching under-foot.

"Be gentle, this is my first time," Came Tony's disgruntled voice, "Okay, I designed this to come off so – _OW!"_

"Please try not to move, sir."

"What's going on here?" Pepper's soft voice sounded over the whir of machines trying to get Tony out of a more recognizable red and gold Iron Man suit.

Realizing he was no longer alone Tony slowly turned to look. After a moment studying Pepper's face he said simply, "Let's face it, this not the worst thing you've caught me doing."

She only stared, "Are those bullet holes?"

**The End**

The screen faded to black as Clint turned to Natasha, "You know he's going to kill you if he ever finds out about this, right?"

She hummed softly, "I'd like to see him try."

Steve was still looking at the screen, "Um, Natasha?" He pointed at the T.V. in confusion. She looked up as words she did not put on the recording started scrolling.

**A note to Miss Natasha Romanoff:**

**I know what you did.**

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bruce asked turning to Natasha. She shook her head in bewilderment, wondering how on earth Tony Stark had found the video. Then again he _had_ broken into SHEILD . . . she was so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn't immediately notice the rest of the team backing away from her.

She glared at them, "What?"

Bruce pointed at something behind her. Natasha turned.

Only to come face to face with a robotic arm descending from the ceiling . . . holding a fire-extinguisher.

* * *

Tony looked up from his work as he heard an outraged scream reach him down in his lab.

"Jarvis?"

"Miss Romanoff has just been acquainted with Dummy, just as you asked, sir."

He smiled, "Oh, did everyone enjoy the show?"

"I believe so, sir, but may I suggest putting the lab on lock-down until Miss Romanoff has calmed a bit?"

"Yeah, that'd probably be –" he stopped as he heard another scream and something crash upstairs, "On second thought, Jarvis, arrange a two-week vacation for me and Miss Potts in the most remote location you can find."

"Yes, sir – " another crash, "I'll – do the best I can."

Tony shuddered.

* * *

**A/N:** I went back and watched my favorite Iron Man bits after I saw the Avengers (since it's the only one I owned at the time) and found where he actually filmed his first flight tests . . . I felt the rest of the team should see it, too . . . Also, do they even have knights in Asgard?

I know this had probably been done before, but, hey, I like throwing my two-cents in. Hope you liked it, cuz I had fun with it. I officially think of fan-fiction as a gamble .


End file.
